Second Entry [18/02/2025]: The day was objectively pretty good but on the other hand I'm still trying to deal with some sort of anxiety attack episode thingy since this morning. It was triggered over the most stupid conversation ever and now I'm trying to convince myself that I am not experiencing symptoms of cognitive deterioration/dementia, trying to remind myself that I had that sort of anxiety stuff before and it went away after I stopped getting anxious and stressed over it, that I'm just feeling a little burnt out, and that I am not a bad friend (the last one is completely unrelated to the main thing but it was there too). Stressing and obsessing over a lot of stupid stuff at the same time, being afraid of wildly absurd possibilities that has absolutely no way of happening to me, suspecting of a deterioration of my intellect and my cognitive abilities, and the brain fog I experienced definetly didn't helped with the anxiety at all. I had a shit ton of other anxious train of thoughts and feelings today outside of that but even trying to write them all here makes me feel the anxiety all over again...

Aaaaahh I'm venting way too much again, I'll probably regret this entry so much later on, and guess I'll try to do some calming stuff now, byeee!

First Entry [17/02/2025]: I tried Bear Blog for a while, but in the end I didn't get the same sort of enjoyment I previously got when I posted my blog posts on my website from there, so here I am, returning to my website for blog posts again! Yippie!!

My dad came home once again today. He usually comes to visit us once or twice a year because of his job abroad, but now this visit will be his longest, lasting for 1 month. I honestly don't know what to feel about this, I didn't got to see him a lot growing up, and each time he visits us it just feels like we have to re-introduce ourselves to eachother once again as if it was our first time seeing eachother, which, is kinda the case I suppose? We changed our house 3 times each time he visited; In Antalya during 2023, In Lisboa during 2024 and now we are welcoming him in Setúbal in February 2025... 2 different countries, 3 different cities, and we've grown too. Not much has stayed the same since then. And throughout all these changes, he wasn't really present. It feels weird to see him at the house, not in an unfamiliar stranger way, but I don't know if I'm used to seeing him around as well... I feel like I would've be closer to him only if he wasn't absent during all those years that passed without him. He has been working abroad since I was born. Idk how different things would be if I grew up with him as well. He is not a bad person tho, he is a pretty chill guy :D